As I was browsing Newly Parents, I saw a post that I just had to recreate. (And I hope they don’t mind!) It’s based on an article by Parents.com called the 20 Most Embarrassing Pregnancy Problems.
Now most of us know that pregnancy makes us react in some pretty crazy ways, so this should be interesting.
1) I’ve been so gassy and burpy lately.
Well…at first I wasn’t, but now that’s a totally different story. I have no idea where all of this gas comes from, and the smell…isn’t really all that appetizing. Let’s just say, I can outdo my hubby any day.
2) I have a dark line running down the center of my belly, and my nipples are a lot darker too.
Okay, so this isn’t all that embarrassing. My dark line came long before I even got pregnant, and I’m happy to say that it’s actually lightened up a little. Either way…it’s definitely NOT SEXY!
3) I’m constipated!
Definitely! It never ceases to amaze me. Lots and lots of gas = no poop. Even after drinking 2 liters of water, 2 huge glasses of milk, and eating my veggies (which are supposed to help). And to top it off, this problem always seems to go away at the weirdest, most inconvenient times. Go figure!
4) My nipples are so itchy!
And here I was thinking I was allergic to my bras! This has to be the #1 most embarrassing problem. Itching in public is not cool…even if you are pregnant.
5) I get sudden sharp pains in my groin.
Round ligament pains. I remember the first time I had them. I thought I was going to die and rushed to the hospital. All I got out of it was a hefty bill.
6) I’ve been throwing up everywhere.
Gotta love morning sickness! 30 weeks pregnant, and I still have it. It’s especially embarrassing if you have to pee…yeah.
7) When I sneeze, cough or laugh, a little pee leaks out.
Just a little? That’s a slight (I said slight) understatement. I should probably work on bladder control.
8 ) I’m never in the mood for sex anymore. Ever.
Of course I am! If it’s a full moon…
9) I’m always in the mood for sex!
Okay, maybe not.
10) I’m breaking out like a teenager!
Is that what teenagers do? For some reason I thought someone placed a model of the Rocky Mountains on my face…and my neck…and back while I was sleeping. Man, I hope this goes away after the baby is born.
11) My crazy dreams are starting to freak me out.
Nope! No crazy dreams here.
12) I’ve been having very sexy dreams — about my ex-boyfriend!
Does having very sexy dreams about my husband count? If so, then count me in.
13) Um, I think I have hemorrhoids.
I hope I never have to say those words…ever!
14) I’ve been noticing a lot of milky discharge down there.
And it is so very annoying. I should buy stock in Kotex.
15) My breasts are leaking!
Not yet! Thank goodness for that. I’ve only gone up one bra size…not that I’m complaining. These jugs aren’t light.
16) My belly button is sticking out — it looks weird when I wear tight tops!
This should read “My belly button is half innie/half outtie — it looks weird PERIOD! I pray that this isn’t permanent.
17) I’m terrified that my water will break in public.
I’ve never really thought about my water breaking… I’d never go in that store again… Maybe I should just stay home…and put plastic on my chairs and bed.
18) All eyes will be focused down there — should I shave or wax before my due date?
Has anyone ever mentioned how painful waxing is? I’ve considered it, but no. Shaving maybe…if the hubby wasn’t too scared to do it. What’s so hard to understand about “I can’t see it” and “I can’t reach it”?
19) I’m scared that my husband won’t want to have sex with me after he sees me give birth.
Haven’t really thought about this one either. The thought of sex after baby is a little weird to think about.
20) I’m so nervous about pooping on the delivery table.
I’m so nervous that I’ve considered taking a laxative to prevent it. It’s so sad that labor is unpredictable. And what ever happened to enemas?
So there. My very long post on embarrassing pregnancy problems. Feel free to share yours.