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8.21.10: A Different Me

Who am I? I sit down and examine myself in the mirror. I can’t believe that I’m asking myself this question. Tears well up as I try to remember the point in my life where I stopped being me, and started being what everyone else wanted me to be. I glance over at my husband and smile.

He’s fast asleep. So is our son. Leaving me awake…alone to battle the thoughts that creep into my mind more often than none. Sometimes…not all of the time, I wonder what my life could have been. I create these scenarios (some more out of reach than others), but I always come back to the same conclusion: my life is better the way it is.

So why do I struggle so much with something so simple? Is it that I don’t really know who I am? Or is it because I don’t want to accept the truth?

Twenty-five. A quarter of a century. I’ve accomplished many things, but many of them weren’t a part of my life plan. Yes, I had one. I created it before I knew what love was. Before I discovered broken hearts. It was this movie perfect plan…complete with the standard ‘happily ever after’ ending. It didn’t take long to figure out that things never really go according to plan!
TO BE CONTINUED…

8.21.10: I Suck At Updates

Another day. Another post. I’m getting really bad with updating regularly.

So much is going on…JJ started crawling and he’s trying to stand. He still has no teeth. My husband is still obsessed with the gym. He’s up to twice a day when he’s off. My best friend…well one of my best friends got fired yesterday. She was with Bank of America for close to six years. One of the nicest people ever.

There’s so much that I can say about work, but I’ll save that for another post. Time for a nap. Enjoy the picture.